Ennui

001. What’s your name? Are you asking for my full name or first name? Either way I’m not giving it away. Bleh.
002. Spell your name backwards: See above
003. Date of birth: 12. 12. 1987
004. Male of Female? Female
005. Astrological Sig: Sagittarius
006. Nicknames: Madame; Butterfly; Queenie
007. Occupation: student
008. Height: not tall enough
009. Weight: too heavy
010. Hair Color: black
011. Eye Color: dark
012. Where were you born? In a hospital
013. Where do you reside now? In a ratty hall that leaks, among other things.
014. Age: 19
015. Screen Names: schmetterling
016. Email Address: You ain’t getting that, mate.
017. What does you screen name stand for? Butterfly
018. What is your xanga name? Got no xanga name, mate.
019. What does your xanga name stand for? See above.
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday? Five, strangely, because my friends couldn’t count.
022. Piercings: two
023. Tatoos: none
024. Shoe Size: 7
025. Righty or Lefty: Righty
026. Wearing: Clothes, of course. Were you expecting leaves?
027. Hearing: Some random Rossini overture
028. Feeling: mildly irritated by this quiz
029. Eating/Drinking: nothing at the moment, which is unusual.

~Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
030.Have you ever been in love? Define this ‘love” you speak of.
031. How many people have told you "I love you"? Oh I don’t know. Is one meant to count?
032. How many people have you been in love with? See 030
033. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? What the hey?
034. Do you have any neices or nephews? It’s spelt “nieces”. And yes.
035. Are your parents divorced? no036. Do you have step parents? no037. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? no
038. If so for what? no
039. Did your family come to America from another country? Am I in America? Nooo, and thank heavens.

~Music Stuff~
040. What song do you swear was written about your life? I don’t have a life, hence there is no song that is written about my life.
041. What is the most embarressing c.d you own? I am proud of all of them.
042. What is the best c.d you own? Brahms requiem
043. What song do you absolutely hate? I have a long, long list.
044. Do you sing in the shower? No?
045. What song reminds you of someone special? N.A

Questions 46-70are about pop music and hence completely inapplicable.

~Favorites~
071. Color : navy blue
072. Food: currently, ciabatta bread
073. Song: Hmm. Lascia ch’io piange? Haha.
074. Show: HOUSE MD
075. School Subject: I only have one subject….
076. Band/Singer: Andrea Bocelli!
077. Animal: Horse. Ain’t it obvious.
078. Outfit: Black.
079. Radio Station: Accuradio’s Classical Crossover
080. Movie: LOTR! D’oh.
081. Pair Of Shoes: The high heels I left at home…sob
082. Cartoon: I don’t watch cartoons.
083. Actor: uh.
084. Actress: uuuh.
085. Potato Chip: Ruffles!
086. Drink: Definitely not British tap water, let’s put it this way…
087. Alcoholic Drink: white wine
088. Holiday: Chinese New Year
089. Perfume/Cologne: Kenzo Park
090. Pizza Topping: Cheese?
091. Jello Flavor: Grape
092. Lunch Meat: Turkey ham
093. Board Game: Is chess a board game?
094. Video Game: Zelda (though I get stuck EVERY TIME)
095. Website: Worth1000, oh WIKIPEDIA
096. Book: LOTR… (are you beginning to see a pattern here?)
097. Computer Game: BFME!
098. Number: 12
099. Cereal: anything that’s sweet, really.
100. Comedian: -
101. Dessert: ice cream cake
102. Disney Character: Kronk in the Emperor’s New Groove.
103. Clothing Store: Esprit/Lee
104. Pastime: Reading, writing, drawing
105. Teacher: Lecturer? Dr. Cookie & Prof. Wright
106. Childhood Toy: My Mechanix Set
107. Carnival Game: I don’t go to carnivals
108. Candy Bar: Crunch
109. Magazine: Discover, NewScientist
110. Salad Dressing: I don’t even know what kinds of dressing there are. Not a big salad fan. I mean, what’s the point of a salad? Just eat the veg already.
111. Things To Do On The Weekend: read, write, draw
112. Hot Drink: COFFEEEEEEEEEEE
113. Season: Autumn
114. Sports To Watch: Showjumping, Gymnastics, Ballroom
115. Person To Talk To Online: depends.

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
116. What Color Are Your Sheets? Er. Hard to describe, really. Brown and white and blue?
117. What Color Are Your Bedroom Walls? At home you mean? Cream.
118. Do You Have Posters On Your Wall? No. What is the point, pray?
119. If So, Of What? N.A
120. Do You Have A TV In Your Bedroom? Nein
121. How many pillows are on your bed? At home, two.1
22. What do you normally sleep in? What I happen to be wearing at the point of time I feel like going to sleep.
123. Describe Your Favorite Pair Of Pajamas: N.A
124. What Size Bed Do You Have? Single125. Do You Have A Waterbed/Bunkbed/Daybed? daybed
126. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? no
127. Do You Listen To Music While You Try To Fall Asleep? no
128. Describe The Last Nightmare You Had: I don’t have nightmares. Do I count the one I was killed in? Wasn’t really a nightmare.
129. Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal? A green stuffed toy fish. It goes on top of my face.
130. How Many People Can Comfortably Sleep In Your Bed? 1
131. Do You Sleep In Any Unusual Positions? Does sleeping with eyes half-open count?
132. Do You Have To Share A Bedroom With A Sibling? no133. Do You Drool? If I sleep on my face, yes.
134. Do You Have An Alarmclock In Your Room? Yes
135. What Color Is The Carpet In Your Room? No carpet
136. What's Under Your Bed? Dust, I think

~This Or That~
137. Beach/Mountains
138. Donuts/Bagels
139. Day/Night: Night
140. Wicked Witch Of The East/ Wicked Witch Of The West: do I care? Noooo.
141Heaven/Hell: Don’t actually believe in either, so, what’s the point.
142. Make Love/Have Sex: there is technically no difference between the two terms.
43. Coffee/Tea: coffee!
144. Britney/Christina: neither145. Swiss Cheese/American Cheese: Swiss
146. Real World/Road Rules: ?
147. Backstreet Boys/Nsync: ?
148. Silver/Gold: All that glitters is gold. But gold is tacky. See LOTR for details. Silver pretty, but not as bling as gold.
149. Nike/Adidas:
150. McDonalds/Taco Bell:
151. Sweet/Sour: sweet
152. Punk/Emo: neither
153. Hot/Cold: cold
154. Winter/Summer:
155. Spring/Fall:
156. Operas/Plays: d’uh
157. Read/Watch TV: read
158. CDs/Tapes: CDs
159. DVD/VHS: DVD
160. Old/New: depends
161. Shorts/pants:
162. Pink/Red: red
163. Colored/Black And White Photos: Colored
164. Meat/Vegetables: veg
165. Mexican Food/Chinese Food: chinese
166. ......
167. Scary Movies/Comedies:
168. Bikinis/One Piece Bathing Suits:
169. Sandals/Tennis Shoes:
170. Dogs/Cats:
171. Unicorns/Fairies: Fairies are plain nancy.
172. Water/Land: water
173. Sugar/Spice: sugar
174. Black/White: black
175. Ribbons/Bows:
176. Chicken/Beef:
177. Colored/White Christmas Lights: white
178. Cars/Trucks: cars
179. Austin Powers/James Bond:
180. Popcorn/Pretzels: Popcorn
181. Hip/Hop: ew
82. Passionate Kiss/Peck: stay away from me
183. WWE Wrestling/Real Wrestling: Mud wrestling?
184. Back Rub/Foot Massage:
185. Picture Frames/Photo Albums:
186. Pens/Pencils:

~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following?~
187. Eminem: who
188. Virgins: good for catching unicorns
89. God: Doesn’t exist, hopefully.
190. The Osbournes: weird
191. Reality TV: stupid
192. J.Lo: why insure your butt?
193. Religion: will be the cause of world destruction one day
194. Emo Music: What’s Prozac for, pray?
195. Valentine's Day: -shrug-
196. Christina Aguilera's Comeback: who?
197. Homosexuals: quite natural, though obviously an evolutionary dead end.
198. Abortion: Sometimes medically necessary. Don’t fuss.
199. Inter-Racial Relationships: Why is this a problem?
200. Murder: fascinating human behaviour, no?
201. Death: comes to everyone.
202. Obesity: sad and wholly preventable
203. Pre-Marital Sex: I believe that marriage is an artificial human condition.
204. Terrorism: Though I like explosions, stop bombing. It’s rude.
205. Pornography: illogical, really.
206. Fortune Tellers: why don’t their pants catch fire?
207. Threesomes: conceptually baffling
208. Prostitution: an age-old profession that will last unto the ending of the world
209. Politics: a headache
210. Country Music: eep
211. George W. Bush: Hopeless. Utterly hopeless.
212. Cloning: happens in the natural world all the time
213. Britney's Boobs: none of my concern
214. Gas Prices In America: ought to be much higher.

~What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Names?~
215. Jack: a beanstalk
216. Tiffany: the girl downstairs with too many shoes
217. Ben: my orchestral colleague
218. Maria: the Greek girl who has an obsession with my riding crop
219. Jennifer: my ex piano teacher who utterly sucked
220. Nicole: a friend
221. Amy: a friend
222. Adam: his ribs
223. Richard: Lionheart
224. Justin: Friend
225. Arnold: Ooh the Gov’ner
226. Tom: across the landing
227. Melissa: Nicole’s sister
228. Charlotte: Charlotte's web
229. Harold: the sock puppet in someone’s fanfic
230. John: friend
231. Joel: donkey
232. Vanessa: Mae
233. Michelle: Nicole’s cousin
234. Kevin: Guy in riding who fell asleep on another guy’s shoulder
235. Brent: rings no bells
236. Jake: ditto
237. Billy: goat
238. Sarah: CSI
239. Natalie: friend
240. Christi: nothing
241. Nick:
242. Linda:
243. Taylor:
244. Jordan:
245. Jamie: ex-classmate
246. Adriana:

~Have You Ever...~
247. Mooned Anyone? Does “mooned” mean throw to the moon?
248. Been On A Diet? Yes
249. Been To A Foreign Country? yes
250. Broken A Bone: nope
251. Swallowed A Tooth/Cap/Filling? No?
252. Swear At A Teacher? No?
253. Talked To An Xanga Member, Via, E-mails, or Instant Messages? Heck, one lives in my room.
254. Got In A Fight? No
255. Dated A Teacher? Serious? No?
256. Laughed So Hard You Peed Your Pants? no
257. Thought About Killing Your Enemy? Regularly.
258. Gone Skinny Dipping? no
259. Met Another Xanga Member In The Flesh? One lives in my room
260. Told A Little White Lie? If you haven’t you ain’t human.
261. Told A Secret You Swore Not To Tell? No
262. Stolen Anything? nope
263. Misused A Swear Word And It Sounded Absolutely Stupid? Nope
264. Been On TV? Yep
265. Been On The Radio? no
266. Been In A Mosh Pit? A what?
267. Been To A Concert? Many many many…
268. Dated One Of Your Best Friends? No
269. Loved Someone So Much It Makes You Cry? no
270. Decieved Someone Close To You? no
271. Broken The Law? no
272. Been To A Rodeo? no
273. Been On A Talk Show? no
274. Been On A Game Show? no
275. Been On An Airplane? Yes
276. Got To Ride On A Fire Truck? no
277. Came Close To Dying? Probably, every time I eat a meal cooked by myself.
278. Cheated On A bF? No?
279. Gave Someone A Piggy Back Ride? Yes, sadly.
280. Terrorized A Babysitter? no
281. Made A Mud Pie? no
282. Had A Dream That You're Falling Off A Cliff? no
283. Snuck Out Of The House At Night? no
284. Been So Drunk You Didn't Remember Your Name? no
285. Had An Eating Disorder? no
286. Felt Like You Didn't Belong? Belong to what?
287. Felt Like A Third-Wheel? A what?
288. Smoked? no
289. Done Drugs? No
290. Been Arrested?no
291. Had Your Tonsils Removed? no
292. Gone To Camp? Yes
293. Won A Bet? Yes, I think.
294. Written A Love Letter? No.
295. Gone Out Of Your Way To Be With The One You Love? no
296. Written A Love Poem? No?
297. Kissed In The Rain? People do that?
298. Slow Danced With Someone You Love? no
299. Participated In Cyber Sex? no
300. Faked An Orgasm? no
301. Stolen A Kiss? no
302. Asked A Friend For Relationship Advice? no
303. Had A Friend Steal Your bF? no
304. Watched The Sunset/Rise With Someone You Love? no
305. Gotten A Speeding Ticket? No
306. Done Jail Time? no
307. Had To Wear A Uniform To Work? No
308. Won A Trophy? Yes.
309. Thrown Up In Public? No.
310. Bowled A Perfect Game? no
311. Failed/Got Held Back? No.
312. Got Perfect Attendence In Grade School? Never.
313. Roasted Pumpkin Seeds? no
314. Taken Ballet Lessons? No.
315. Attempted Suicide? no
316. Cut yourself? All the time. On paper, knives….

~Childhood Stuff~
317. Did You Play With Barbies? Yes, sadly.
318. Did You Own Treasure Trolls? No?
319. Did You Watch Beverly Hills 90210? no
320. Did You Play Simon? no
321. Did You Watch Fraggle Rock? what?
322. Did You Wet The Bed? Never.
323. Did You Believe That Monsters Were In Your Closet Or Under Your Bed? Of course not. How silly.
324. Did You Wear The Underwear With The Days Of The Week On Them? no
325. Were You Shy? Not by a long shot
326. Were You Spoiled? no
327. Were You Abused? no
328. Did You Go To The Circus? no
329. Did You Go To The Zoo? Yeah
330. Were You In A Car Accident? no
331. Did You Build Snowmen? sadly, it doesn't snow where I live
332. Did You Cry When You Scraped Your Knee? No.
333. Were Your Older Cousins Mean To You?no
334. Did You Think Slinkies Were Cool? yes
335. Did You Think The Ninja Turtles Really Lived In A Sewer? No
336. Were You Afraid Of The Dark? No, loved it
337. Did You Have Slumber Parties?
no338. Did You Have New Kids On The Block Sheets, Curtains, Sleeping Bags, Dolls, And Pajams? no
339. Did You Tease Your Hair? You mean laugh at it? Why yes.
340. Did You Believe In Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/And The Tooth Fairy? No?

~Randomness~
341. Do You Believe In Aliens? I believe in the possibility of alien life-forms.
342.Name three Things That Are Next To Your Computer: yoghurt cup, paints, paper.
343. Do You Have Any Hidden Talents? If I told you they wouldn’t be hidden now, would they?
344. Do You Wish MTV Would Play More Music? Ew?
345. If You Were A Star In A Movie, What Movie Would You Be In? I don’t wanna.
346. What Would Your Movie Star Name Be? I told you, I don’t wanna.
347. Do You Play Any Sports? Does riding count?
348. What's The Scariest Movie You've Ever Seen? Snow white, probably.
349. What Is The Best Movie You've Seen In Theatre Or Rented Recently? V for Vendetta
350. What Is The Dumbest Movie You've Even Seen? Harry Potter. I vomit in its general direction.
351. Do You Drive? no
352. What Is Your Dream Car? One that does not guzzle oil and belch noxious fumes.
353. Do You Think You Are Good-Looking? If a lump of lard is good looking, then I am good looking.
354. Do Others Say You Are Good-Looking? Apparently. I know not what ails them.
355. Would You Ever Sky Dive? no
356. Do You Believe In Big Foot? Well, I have a big foot.
357. How Many Rooms Do You Have In Your House? 5
358. Are You Afraid Of Roller Coasters? Yawn
359. Do You Believe In God? No
360. Do You Believe In Satan? No
361. Do You Believe There's A Heaven? No
62. Do You Believe There Is A Hell? No
363. Do You Own A Pooltable? No
364. Do You Have A Pool? No
365. Do You Have A Dishwasher In Your Kitchen? No
367. Do You Like Chocolate? I live on it, practically
368. Who/What Is On Your Calander? Do you not specify which day?
369. How Many U.S States Have Been To? 0
370. Ever Wished On A Shooting Star? no
371. Best Halloween Costume You Ever Wore? -
372. Do You Carry Weapons On You? No?
373. What Is Your Weakness? chocolate
374. Name Something You Can't Get Enough Of: chocolate
375. How Many Kids Do You Want To Have? 0
376. Future Daughters Names: N.a
377. Future Son's Names: N.A
378. What Is Your Ideal Way To Die? Choking on a cookie.
379. How Do You Relieve Stress? Eat chocolate
380. Are You A Trendy Person? no
381. Are You An Artistic Person? I suppose.
382. Are You A Realistic Person? Highly.
383. Do You Untie Your Shoes Everytime You Take Them Off? Never.
384. Are You A Strong Person? Do I know? No.
385. Are You A Strong Willed Person? Probably
386. Who Is The Last Person To Email You? artsoc
387. Who Was The Last Person To IM You? Ger?
388. Do You Hate Chain Emails? Yes
389. Are You A Deep-Sleeper? Yes
390. Are You A Good Story Teller? No
391. What Do You Believe Is Your Best Quality? Being able to sleep through almost anything
392. What Is Your Greatest Accomplishment? Sleeping though an episode of ant-killing going on just inches from my nose.
393. Do You Like To Burn Candles Or Incense? No
394. Do You Do Yoga? No
395. Do You Have Your Own Credit Card? Yes
396. Let's Say You Win The Lotto: Great. I can pay for my education.
397. Did You Have A Check Book? Yes
398. Do You Like Your Driver? Do I have a driver?
399. Do You Tan Easily? Do I tan?
400. What Color Is Your Hair Naturally? black
401. How Many Fillings Do You Have? three
402. How Many Cavities Did You Have At Your Last Denist Visit? three
403. Worst Feeling In The World? Having no chocolate
404. Best Feeling In The World? Caffeine high.
405. Is The Glass Half Empty Or Half Full? What’s the fuss? It holds the same amount of liquid anyway.
406. Last Thing You Downloaded? 300 wallpaper.
407. Do You Catch Yourself Using Online Terms In Regular Life? no
408. What Do You Think People Think Of You? That I am very, very odd.
409. Are You A Likeable Person? Not particularly
410. Do You Need Therapy? Proabably
411. Do You Take Medication For A Chemical Imbalance? no
412. What Is The Best Way To Propose? Propose what? A business deal?
413. What Kind Of Movie Would You Star In? Don’t wanna.
414. If Fed Ex And UPS Were To Merge Would They Call It Fed UP? That is a very bad joke.
415. When Are You Moving? Dunno.
416. What's Your Favorite Phrase? “What the hey?”.

Schmetterling's Guide to Vaguely Edible Cooking

My roommate has been a huge nuisance lately, bothering me with such drivel as "how do I spell lettuce?" and "how do you marinate a chicken?". What is she doing, one might ask. Well apparently, defying all logic, she is writing an instruction manual on how to prepare meals for one of her friends, despite being barely able to cook an egg without converting a substantial amount of it to carbon in its most basic and unpalatable form (not that I am any different, but that is an entirely different matter altogether...)

This of course, got me thinking.

Why not publish a whole series of articles on undergraduate cooking? Why, I might even become famous!

Here, then, is the first installment.

Schmetterling's Guide to Vaguely Edible Cooking

Lazybones Chicken Legs

The ideal meat meal for the hopelessly lazy carnivore.

1. Get chicken legs out of the freezer and defrost in microwave. Never mind if they are slightly cooked in the process- they are meant to be cooked anyhow.

2. Marinate chicken legs using salt and pepper. Amount of salt and pepper used depends on how hard you shake and how protective you are of your kidneys.

3. Chuck marinated chicken legs into the grill turned to the maximum gas mark. Hey, the whole point is to get it done as quickly as possible, right? We're hungry students here!

4. Every random interval, open the grill and poke at chicken with a fork. If red stuff comes out, it ain't cooked yet. Continue random poking until stuff that comes out is clear/ until your fears of salmonella are quelled.

5. Remove chicken legs from oven and eat.



Next installment coming soon, on Schmetterling's Guide to Vaguely Edible Cooking: Mushy Macaroni.

"金玉良言"

Quotes from my Lectures:


"There's really not much to choose between you and a mushroom." - a lecturer being cynical about the human race.

"...that fluffy bit there (points to distinctly un-fluffy blob on protein)..." - the same lecturer being slightly overenthusiastic.

"And my point is...(dramatic pause)... now I've forgotten..." - another lecturer.

"...and then he dies, which is fairly interesting." - the humanities lecturer on the subject of the only casualty in the construction of the Eiffel Tower.

"This is a Newtonian moment." Right. Not for me, though.

"It would fry you!" - a lecturer gleefully putting into perspective the huge membrane voltage gradient. Add a quaint accent and a rolled r.

"Here I am brainwashing you..." Finally, they admit it!

"And after I squeezed him... no no, not in that way!" It is amusing when your lecturer's first language is not English, and tends to use inappropriate words at inappropriate moments...


And... notes have never been so amusing...

"The specimen has to be dead. Really dead."

And there was a smiley face in my notes. A smiley face. I am not kidding you.

"The world will go neither a whimper nor a bang, just a simple short circuit." (N.B - a reference to nuclear silos being controlled by complex electrical switchboards.)

And finally, a poem on the machine gun in one of my humanities recommended reading things, which is really rather tragic:

"Onward Christian soldiers, on to heathen lands;
Prayer-books in your pockets, rifles in your hands;
Take the glorious tidings where trade can be done;
Spread the peaceful gospel-with a Maxim gun."

- Labouchere, in A Social History of the Machine Gun by J. Ellis

Silwood Park

This is terribly terribly overdue. But nevermind.

Recently, had field trip to one of the university's other campuses. What was really nice was that it was set in lovely lovely countryside (see picture for the Manor House, which is the main building), with acres of woodland, grassland, and what not.

What was slightly scary was that the entire place was used for ecological experiments, and that cages and traps and wire fences and random logs just kept popping up everywhere you so happened to wander.

Basically went around collecting data (think tramping about in the woods, wading in waist deep thorny bushes and stinging nettles, waving nets about in streams, etc) and enjoying the fresh air. Oh, and this is totally random but I caught two crayfish. And I saw a deer, dozens of rabbits and four pheasants.

As you can see, it was simply beautiful, so I don't think I can put it adequately in words. Suffice it to say that the ragged scars from thorns and nettle-stings were worth it.

I love the countryside.

For pictures of the wild woods, visit http://www.flickr.com/photos/greyschmetterling.

Will blog more when I feel more inspired.

More Faintly Amusing Stuff

1. Lectures
Yes, lectures are actually quite fun in this place. Especially when your lecturer is a portly old gentlemen dripping with British humour and full of phrases such as "charismatic predators" and forever taking potshots at the Americans. And your other lecturer (humanities) pokes fun of just about everything and is also forever taking potshots at the Americans. Recent lectures aren't so fun though, mainly because they involve math. Ew. Not amusing, that.

2. A Horse Named Fen and Another Called Joker
The former is a little bay mare, a bit lazy in my opinion, and much given to flopping her lips about, which is quite amusing to watch, but not so amusing when you're actually on the horse. The latter is a skewbald, very well named. Enough said. Shall go nurse my sore rear end.

3. The Madness of Engineers
Have got one for a roommate. Interesting species to observe, I must say.
Engineerus civilus
Range: radius of 1m away from laptop and bed.
Feeding habits: Eats mostly crisps, tortillas, biscuits and other processed carbohydrates
Behaviour: Eccentric. Highly given to wearing bulky construction helmet indoors and singing at inappropriate times of the day. Almost impossible to awaken unless given the prospect of breakfast. Likes juggling random fruits.

4. Terry Pratchett
Very addicted to his books, and the school library keeps a good collection. Though it is fantasy, you'd be suprised how much of it echos the absurdity of modern life. My roommate is slightly disturbed at me sniggering at odd intervals from my corner when I'm reading. Payback, I say.

Life in London thus far

Life in London thus far is...

1) Quite pretty (refer to picture on the left). London is stuffed to bursting with pretty buildings; the one on the left is the entrance to the Natural History Musuem, which is just next to the school. I go there during lunch. Tee hee. However, not all buildings in London are pretty, duh. Some are absurd (like a mango-shaped building that my engineer room-mate is complaining about having to do a project on) and some look crumbly and old.

2) Faintly amusing. There are really odd things in London. Like "low sodium table salt", which I saw in a supermarket- really the ULTIMATE oxymoron. And of course there's my slightly mad roommate (aren't all engineers slightly mad anyway. I mean, who wants to build bridges, honestly.) And there's the picture on the far left, which I find quite funny.

3) Charming. Refer to picture on above right. That's Hyde Park on a really fine early autumn day. Nothing beats just sitting in the sun and looking up at the blue blue sky (sorry about the haze in SG).

4) Slightly scary. You hear police/ambulance sirens 3 times a day, on average. And this is a safe area. Did I mention that the traffic is frightening? Going to be knocked down by a car one of these days (am glad I have insurance). Also, the swans and ducks at Hyde Park are HUGE, and they have this disturbing habit of closing in on you when you've run out of bread....

Till next time.

In London!

That's right, Schmetterling is in London.

And it's cold. Especially when the wind blows.

And the weather changes every ten minutes.

And Schmetterling is very sure she will develop very muscular legs with all the walking she's been doing these days. (It's a 15 minute walk from the hostel to the school, and about 20 min from the hostel to the supermarket...)

Well, till next time, because Schmetterling is quite sleepy now. Tata.

Alas for the Trees

I will be leaving this place soon, and heaven knows when I'll be back. Probably not till next year.

What will I miss, people ask?

Somehow, I don't think it'll be the food.

Family and friends I will miss, definitely, but to what extent? I am not particularly close to anyone, and friendships are virtually (forgive the pun) maintained through MSN these days(that's what has been going on for the past.... 8-9 months, for me at least...)

It's the little things, I suppose.

The view of the reservoir from my window.

The sunset that irritates me from 5-6pm daily. (because of the *beep*ing glare it causes)

The wet, green smell after the rain. (Yes I live in a well vegetated area, thank heavens.)

Dammit, probably even my neighbour's noisy parrot.


And the trees. I am very very attached to tropical vegetation thankyewverymuch. The beautiful flame-of-the-forest that I admire every time I cross the overhead bridge. The weird tree with white blossoms below the flyover en route to school. The humongous tree overgrown with strangling fig in Fort Canning. The old droopy tree that dangles its branches in a frequently overlooked section of the Singapore River. Will miss them all.


And no, I am not mad. Or overly sentimental. Trees are worth worshipping.

A Brief Sojourn into the Land of Pink and Purple Taxis

Day #1

I write this in my frigid hotel room overlooking a sign saying “Applied Physics” and another describing the foot reflexology services of “Miss Puke”. My stomach is so bloated stuff threatens to exit from either above or below, and I am on the verge of breathing fire (thanks to my exceedingly spicy dinner). To top it all of, I have had three servings of coffee today (caffeine overload alert) and am quite insanely perky. As a result, this entry is likely to be terribly garbled and not make much sense at all.

Where am I? Somewhere in the middle of a tangled mess of hopelessly congested roads, highways and alleys, beset on all sides by garish pink taxis and dangerous sofa-bearing tuk-tuks. Bangkok, naturally.

Day #2

Hmmm… haven’t been in this city for what, four, five years? I never cared much for it in the past. But it calls to me now, singing its siren song… (Buy, buy buy! Very cheap, buy!) Sadly, I find it irresistible. I am not one who is easily tempted by long swishy skirts. But here, I find myself drooling at every third swishy skirt that so happens to be in my path. The variety here is mind-blowing. Utterly mind-blowing. And though the prices have gone up somewhat throughout the years, one can still get a very good deal, if one knows where to look (and if one avoids shopping malls that scream 'DEES EES A TOUURISS TRAAAP!"). There is plenty of stuff here that suits Schmetterling's very exacting tastes, and Schmetterling is very very happy about that. Service is almost universally excellent, and I find myself smiling more in one day than I've smiled for the past half of the year, simply because there are fewer pompous assholes here.

I also think that Thai massages are quite highly overrated. Perhaps having all the breath squashed out of me just isn't my thing. Don't get me wrong- it wasn't exactly painful or anything... it's just that I am not too amenable to having feet and elbows push into my back.

Day #3

I swear they put sugar in EVERYTHING. Including fruit juice. To think I was marvelling at the sweetness of Thai watermelons. Anyway, I like Thai salads. If I become a vegetarian I think Thailand might be a good place to retire.

Nothing much of note, just this. Walking on the streets can be quite hazardous, for there are shrines (and thus clouds of flies accompanying the offerings) leaping out at you from unexpected corners. And university students wear cute uniforms.

In Which the Owner of this Blog has fallen Prey to Humour

What can I possibly say? Some people are geniuses when it comes to humour.

"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits... in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [Whereupon the friar is urged, "skip ahead a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen."
-- On the Use of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, a weapon used to kill a ferocious, fluffy bunny in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Quite simply, he was in love with linen. Clean, lightly starched, white Irish linen, pressed, folded, tucked- the words were almost a litany of desire for him. In centuries nothing had obsessed him or moved him so much as linen now did. He could not for the life of him understand how he could have cared for anything else."

--The Norse God Odin's opinion of linen, from The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

"Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae." — Kurt Vonnegut

"Mediocre writers borrow; great writers steal. "— TS Eliot


Will post more when I think of more stuff.

Of Too Much Gaming

Have you ever been so distracted by pretty graphics in a computer game that you completely fail to realise you're getting toasted by the enemy?


Scenario 1 :

*lightning flashes and blinding white light*

Me: Oooooooooh PRETTY!

*clank clank clank screeeeeam*

Sign on screen: DEFEATED

Scenario 2:

*giant fiery red eye shines down on troops like Weirdo Spotlight from Hell*

Me: Oooooh PRETTY!

Disembodied Voice from Speakers: I see you

Me: Right. Now what.

*clank clank clank screaaaam*

Sign on screen: DEFEATED


You get the idea.

Amusing Blog Quotes

Yes... I've been snooping around people's blogs and kidnapping quotes.

"A blog does not a person make." - W.K

"Never mention Jay Chou in 04S71 or else you would have commited a deed as dastardly as opening Pandora's box. And you'll find it incredibly hard to shut the damn box." - Bigsheepy

"... there's a huge puncture in my already semi-deflated ego and all the air inside is already in semi-equilibrium with the surrounding air, so basically, there's only negligible air inside the ball you call ego. Hmm." -西湖娘娘

" ... and the probability of this is 1 in, I don't know, maybe 4,532,845,043,689,574,396,820,473."

- again, the lovely Lady of the West Lake, on some weird topic that I don't remember.

"They have BCCT (basic close combat training) which basically consists of a group of people looking really retarded punching their hands in the air."

- Our Great Leader, on a particular aspect of training in NS.


What am I doing? Argh.

Old Friends

I was clearing out my stuff yesterday, mostly because my room looks like a plane just dropped a bomb on it and I wanted to be able to walk through the room without inadvertantly tripping over something and killing myself (though I have life insurance but that's not the point).

After some rooting about I discovered a half-filled sketchbook, buried under a pile of well whatever, I don't want to know what that is, which I had forgotten completely about. So I flipped through it to laugh at the abombinations I produced these few years. On the very last filled page was a half-completed drawing (of what I am not going to tell you. Nyah.) with quite a bit of detail done in already. Unable to resist I abandoned Operation Clean-up and took the sketchbook to the table.

Shoving some stuff (where do I get this much stuff anyway) off the table I proceeded to work on it awhile, adding detail andbringing out the form. Then I realised why I had never completed it. The pose was too ambitious, and I would never be able to get it right without a live model (and this much I will tell you.. the subject of the drawing does not exist in real life and therefore it is impossible to obtain a live model. Besides I wouldn't WANT to go near it if it existed). So I abandoned it. Again.

But my hand had touched the paper, and it was impossible to resist its siren call. Just the right texture for watercolour, really. Not really caring where I left my pencil and eraser, I rooted about again and managed to dig out a box of paints, which was empty. Then I remembered that being an idiot I had put all my paints in one box (artists' version of putting all your eggs in one basket) which I was now using as a footrest. So I took that out, and went on a search for my paintbrushes, which were conveniently standing in a mug in my bathroom next to my toothbrush (I do NOT brush my teeth with a paintbrush. I just keep them there because. Um. Because. Yah.)

Anyway, feeling beside myself with glee at having actually found what I was looking for (aiyah should have bought lottery, since I was on a lucky streak), I began to cheerfully sploosh paint onto paper. I didn't really know what I was doing. It felt good to be holding a brush again, for the first time in what, a year? I just randomly splooshed around, painting whatever came to mind (tomatoes, big trees, rocks, people with purple hair).

Thus passed the entire afternoon and evening. And my room is still a mess.

The Simple Life, or The Fine Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing

There's nothing quite like the simple life, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

There's nothing like sitting down in the evenings with a cup of rose-flavored milk tea, baroque music playing in the background, and just contemplating your peaceful, uninteresting existence.

There's nothing like being so absorbed in your own thoughts that you forget entirely you haven't spoken face to face with a human being (other than your students) for almost a week.

There's nothing like sitting around the entire day, and not feeling bored at all, because you're just enjoying the quiet simplicity of your life.

There's nothing like strolling through the busy city streets while the world whirls past you, and saying nary a word, or heeding any sight or sound, just pondering meditatively on some random thing or other (like coffee).

There's nothing like flipping idly through an issue of Sci Am, and suddenly realising with a jolt that you're in Macdonalds and probably look like an absolute nerd.

There's nothing like realising you just spent five minutes of your life deciding whether you want toast for breakfast or not.

In short, there's nothing like having absolutely nothing to do.

The Berlin Philharmonic

I can not understate my appreciation for Arts Central screening classical music concerts almost every week.

Yesterday it was a concert by the Berlin Philharmonic (one of my favoritest symphony orchestras) with a heady dose of French music.

[rave mode]

Saint-Seans! Ravel! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[/rave mode]

Cough. Ahem.

Anyway they played one of the great favorites: Saint-Sean's Carnival of the Animals. I thought "The Swan" was especially moving. (What am I talking about? It's the only really moving movement in the entire suite...in my opinion anyway)

I really must try to stop rambling so much and form clear, coherent thought.

*Deep breath*

Nope. It's beyond me. I'm done for.

ANYWAY.

The concert was open-air in somewhere in Germany. What really struck me was the enthusiasm of the audience. The place was literally SWARMING with people and their picnic baskets. After every piece they would cheer and whoop and seem absolutely thrilled that they were listening to classical music. The applause was deafening, and by the end everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering and generally prancing along to the music.

What an atmosphere.

Even I, sprawled comfortably out on a couch in front of the TV, felt a slight stirring within me. And I couldn't wipe off the grin on my face for hours. (Freaky huh.)



Which leaves us with this thought : Would you see this sort of reaction in Singapore?








Aside: http://library.wellcome.ac.uk/doc_WTL038432.html is very funny. Snicker.

Ugh

Note: The author apologises for the interruption of the Stupid-Lame-Funny-Anecdotes series to just ramble a little bit

Well I suppose it's time to formally introduce Sean, since I'm going to ramble about him for awhile today.

Sean is a very charming young fellow with dusty brown hair, streaked with gold.

Like most males though, Sean has a problem with personal hygiene.

You see, Sean is a Campbell Dwarf Hamster, and perhaps his mama forgot to teach him how to keep himself clean.

Sean has a rather disturbing habit of urinating and pooping on the excercise wheel, which he then proceeds to run on and sleep on.

So his ever-patient owner has to give him a bath almost every week just to remove the dried pee that's making his fur all sticky.

Not to mention that it stinks.

A lot.

And I can't bring myself to be mad at him because he's so cute and stares at me with those limpid brown eyes....




Bah.

Memories

-private chuckle-

I remember all too well the days of lame jokes and relentless teasing. Days when we should have been buried up to our noses in TYS-es and notes and tutorials, or doing something productive, but wasted in the invention of hilarious (and extremely improbable) scenarios.

Anyway to liven up my 85.673% dead blog, I present you with a series of short jokes/scenarios that my friends and I cooked up.

Warning: Lame, may cause physical impairment in limbs


(A) In The Event of War

Introduction: Inspired by my second-sister's complaints of NS making people stupid. (Yes my second-sister is male).

It is the time of war.

Shells explode overhead.

The captain sees the enemy approach, and shouts an order to his men.

"Fire at will!"

"Yes sir!" An enthusiastic soldier whips out his rifle, swings it around and fires a round into his buddy's face.

As the poor soldier falls limp to the ground amid horrified stares, we see the name on his uniform.

Private Will.

On Instruments

I have a grand total of five instruments at home, four of which are now busy collecting dust.

Well since I haven't blogged for several millennia and I have nothing better to do, I shall say a few words in tribute of my most constant companions.

Introduction

As a person who finds it incredibly difficult to open her mouth and yabble like the rest of her species, Schmetterling doesn't find release easily or often. Schmetterling doesn't even have a social life worth a butterfly wing-scale. Thus, Schmetterling's most intimate friends are inanimate objects hewn out of wood.

The piano

Schmetterling has played the piano for some time but still doesn't manage to be much good at it. Schmetterling goes to the piano to find tranquility and peace by working out anger and frustration. (Prelude in C# minor by Rachmaninoff works just fine..) Or just to clear the head from incessantly whirling thoughts. Schmetterling plays to hear richness and complexity and long sustained sounds, which distract her from the meaningless goings-on of daily life.

The sheng

Perhaps this is what Schmetterling plays best, but she plays it seldom now. Schmetterling seeks it when she wishes to sing of joy, youth and boundless energy (which is obviously quite seldom), or when she just wants to hear sweet sounds. Of course, Schmetterling also plays when she is told she must. (-sulk-) The sheng has taken Schmetterling on the furthest road (and vice versa actually, with the result of the sheng being the only one of Schmetterling's instruments to have seen Orchard Road) and has been the catalyst for finding many of Schmetterling's joys in life.

Rambling note : One does not know how exhilarating it feels to play a wind instrument until one has learnt to play one with some skill.

The guitar

Newest and most unfamiliar of Schmetterling's instruments. Nonetheless it serves the purpose of expressing Schmetterling's abundant feelings of self-pity and melancholy. Schmetterling loves to hear the minor chords resonate, and to feel the bite of nylon strings into flesh.






I blogged. Be happy.

Sigh

My Muse has gone off on aholiday. Will blog when she decides to return.

On the Perils of Short Legs in War

I have just bought a new computer game : The Battle for Middle Earth 2 PC game. Whee. Of course I am uber enthusiastic about it, being a hardcore Tolkien fan and all, but it is a really nice game. Take the graphics for example. At certain points in the game, for example, you see a breathtaking, pure, holy shaft of white light pierce through the gently falling snow and illuminate the path below. And of course it's accompanied by uplifting choral voices singing "aaaaaahhhh aaaahhhhh AHHHHH!" (from the original film soundtrack, no less) to signify that something wonderful has just happened and you've been blessed or something (of course you'd be clueless, but that isn't the point). Also, the Elven dwellings are just magnificent. There is this mallorn/mallard/macdonald tree or something that you grow for food and it has gold and bronze leaves! Shiny leaves! Orcs, trolls and other fashionably evil stuff are also picturesquely grotesque (wrinkles, ugly pout, abdominal fat, uneven tan etc.)

Anyway, that isn't the point. Back to the main topic, which is about the Perils of Short Legs in War. This is something important I have learnt from playing this game.

Well, in one of the campaign scenarios I had to command battalions of Dwarves, which are bearded, short, stout and slow. I would like to point out what I was facing at that point of time was hordes of the Dark Lord's prancing Orcs and Spiders and what not which are significantly faster then my short-legged allies. So when the happy occasion of an enemy attack comes, my army is pelted with generous helpings of poison arrows and flaming shot that fries them to a crisp before they even manage to prick the enemy with the edge of an axe. It is also extremely disheartening to watch your army execute a painfully slow charge order ( I swear they WADDLE to battle) while huge boulders fired from enemy catapaults whiz over their heads ( and occasionally flatten them). You can almost imagine the grin on Sauron's face. Wait. Sauron doesn't have a face. Grin on his Eye? Nevermind.

Anyway. It seems as if short legs were not meant for the battlefield. What would Dwarves do if they had to fight a Mountain Giant anyway? Hack at his pinkie toe?

BeeBee the Paranoid Schizophrenic Fish

BeeBee (real name is not given due to privacy issues) is a paranoid schizophrenic Siamese Fighting Fish.

BeeBee resides in a plastic tank in Schmetterling's student's HDB flat and is of indeterminate age. BeeBee was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia three weeks ago when he scared the hell out of Schmetterling by banging his nose very hard on the tank walls, thinking that yours truly was Satan incarnate and out to murder him in cold blood (which is strange because he is cold-blooded anyway).

BeeBee continually experiences horrifying hallucinations, in which he thinks that he is being attacked on all sides. During such episodes (which strangely usually occur during tuition), BeeBee goes stark raving mad and dashes all around the tank with gills flared, and usually ends up with a bloody face and several missing scales. In between episodes BeeBee just phases out with a glassy look on his fishy face.

To help BeeBee overcome his mental disorder, his owner has put in a porcelain hideout to provide him with a sense of security and thus perhaps prevent panic attacks. However this has not worked as the ever-paranoid BeeBee seems to think it is all some kind of trap and refuses to stay in the hideout for more than a few seconds at a time.

It is also suspected that BeeBee hears voices in his little fishy head telling him that Schmetterling is Satan incarnate.

A Random Discourse on the State of Random Things

Well. I haven't thought of a coherent blog entry, but I have lots of stuff to say, so I shall just ramble and ramble and ramble and ramble for after all this is my blog and I have the inalienable right to ramble on it. To make it less obviously rambly, I shall attempt to organise them into discrete points.

1. On Apples
No no not on Apple, on apples. The red or green edible kind, not the expensive airconditioner-remote-like rectangular thingy with a wheel thingy that mysteriously goes 'click' when you twirl it. Well yes now, what of apples? Well they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and colours and prices. The kind I particularly like is a kind of yellowish-red, and about the size of a ping-pong ball costing about S$2 for a pack of about five, while the largest I have seen was blood red, of the size of a cantaloupe and cost S$14 each. Which of course leads you to suspect that the kind of apple that William Tell balanced on his poor son's head and shot with an arrow was the huge red kind that simply screams "AIM HERE" and is impossible to miss, rather than the comparably microscopic variety that I gobble up in about, oh two bites. And apples just taste so nice, you know. Sweet, firm, crunchy, with a slight powdery taste... that's how I like my apples. And Xiang the hamster likes his apples too. He gets one slice about once a week, and the juice makes his whiskers all sticky.

2. On A Visit to my Grandparents'
Just yesterday I went to my grandparents' house for a visit and to spend the night there. Their doctrine seems to be "early to bed and early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise" , and their daily schedule (which is like clockwork) is almost 2-3 hours earlier than most people's. For example, I arrived at 3pm in the afternoon. At 5pm, I was told that dinner was served and would I please go eat my dinner now. Having just had my lunch at 2pm, I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and only managed to get all the food down by sheer willpower. It didn't help much that my grandmother was looking displeased at me eating "so little" when in fact I was eating enough for two elephants. Then my grandmother was scandalized to hear that I did not intend to retire to bed by 8pm(which is when she went to sleep) and after giving me a lecture on the evils of sleeping late, she insisted I drink a mug of Milo because I would be hungry. Right. Being the obedient granddaughter I complied, and rose to make the hot drink. She was utterly horrified, as she was sure I was going to scald myself or drop the hot water flask on my toe or something and she would be scolded by her son for letting anything happen to his precious daughter while she was in her house. Sigh. Anyway, the next day, I had breakfast at 9am and lunch at 10.30pm. And I am feeling very sick indeed thank you very much. (This doesn't change the fact that I adore my grandmother absolutely, forcefeeding notwistanding)

3. On CSI
Yeah I'm talking about the show where someone inevitably gets murdered every episode and then a group of people come along with all their powders and flashlights and other toys and have a jolly good time. I AM A TOTAL FAN! Of CSI and the spinoffs CSI: NY and CSI: Miami, though I like CSI best. (I like CSI : Miami least. One of the actors has puppy eyes that irritate me) It's just so interesting! You know. Bugs. Dead bodies. Cool tech equipment. Gory autopsies.... This is my sort of thing you know? Especially the bug part. You won't believe how many different types of bugs feature on this show. And the tarantulas. Cool. And I absolutely love it when they test-fire shotguns. Boom.

Schmetterling is a Blog Pirate

Stole this off Huijie's blog. Bwah

I AM: having a monster headache from a little too much coffee. See, the problems with legal drugs like caffeine is that they will be abused up down and inside out by people like me, who need daily fixes to prevent themselves from jumping off a building or bashing their brains out on a concrete wall.

I WANT: inspiration. Which has very cleverly eluded me ever since... oh, eight to ten months ago? Wait. That corresponds roughly to the start of my drug habit. Hmmmmmmm.

I WISH: that I actually had the motivation to do something worthwhile with my time and not just spend the whole day sitting at home getting hyped up on caffeine. I also wish that my A level results were better so I wouldn't be in this depressing state right now.

I HATE: humankind in general, ginger, mangoes, rock,pop,metallica and all the other modern nonsense masquerading as "music", coffee withdrawal syndromes, sitting around all day at home doing nothing, getting bored, children under the age of 12 (I'm not too sure if they're classified under "humankind"..)... and et cetera et cetera.

I MISS: the days of artistic productivity. And my friends. And school. Sadly. At least then I had something to do when I was all hyped up on caffeine. Now I don't have homework and my science mags come only once a month. *Taps head* whatever used to be inside this has now migrated to Mars and I miss it. Hey brain if you see this, write me okay?

I FEAR: nothing. Except of course, boredom, lack of coffee...

I HEAR: voices in my head telling me that I'm a worthless idiot with a drug habit and I should drown myself only that I probably would screw up my suicide attempt like everything else. Just joking. I assume people want to know what I listen to, so I hear : classical music including opera and some broadway and crossover classical. Il Divo is nice.

I WONDER: about how I can overcome my drug habit. And about things like why humanity is so hopeless and when humans are going to nuclear-blast themselves out of existence. In my spare time I ponder upon this very serious question : why hasn't anyone made nice instant coffee? It is after all the 21st century already.

I REGRET: not having the guts (and motivation) to nuclear-blast humans out of existence. Well and a couple of other dark mysterious evil things that I'd rather not discuss.

I AM NOT: crazy. I think. Well maybe I am. Well, not really. Hmm. Am. Not. Am. Not. Am. Not. Am. Not...

I SING: Yes I sing but nobody who listened ever lived to tell the tale. Stay well clear, people.

I CRY: when watching war films. Am always a sucker for them. Sniffle.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: as even-tempered and calm and steady as I seem. I have my explosive moments and shrapnel can hit anyone within a 10km radius.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: big messes. Oh well. Some people call it art. Or music. I just call it paint blotches and noise.

I WRITE: in cursive or in a slanted round hand. And I write mainly stuff like "Dear diary I pooped three times today" and " Saturday 4 pm Tuition at that god-forsaken part of Singapore again".

I CONFUSE: people when I ramble too much. Like say, now. And I also confuse people's names and faces. I am very bad at remembering people. I'm sorry if I can't remember you or your name after 6 months of not seeing you. I also confuse myself when counting money. You see, I am mathematically deficient.

I NEED: coffee. Not now though. Bloody headache.

I SHOULD: get back to working on those trills. I can't do trills to save my life. Then again I don't have a life to save. So the point is, I can't do trills.

I START: start what. Okay. I start every day by going to the bathroom, then drinking a glass of water, then having my breafast, then...

I FINISH: everything that I start. Trust me. I hate to leave loose ends hanging.

I LOVE: my pweetchy lil' hammie. (Translation: I love my pet hamster.)

I REMEMBER: too many things, mostly bad. I also remember first impressions of people, if nothing else. I also remember to feed my hamster every day, even though he's getting quite fat.

I TAG (I added this meself) : Ger, Damian, WK, Eugene (both), Zhiyong (GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT SOFA AND BLOG), Timo and whoever wants to do this.


Finito.

WHY IS IT SO *BEEP*ING HOT?!

The weather is absurdly hot these days, thanks in part to the chimpanzee sitting in a white-washed house in a particularly obnoxious greenhouse-gas-spewing country. (Did you know someone called him the "greatest environmental villian of our time" ? He absolutely deserves it. Bah.)


I can't walk two steps without sweating profusely.

And my aircon isn't working.

And I had to walk under the hot sun for 20 minutes up a bloody hill.

And I'm about to take my second shower of the day.

BAH.

Weirdy Bloggy Stuff

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. dont read the questions before you write, and tag 5 pple to do this survey.

1. Geraldine
2. Damian
3. Zhiyong
4. Eugene Chan
5. Timothy
6. Huijie
7. Woon Keat
8. Yitian
9. Justin
10. Tsinli
11. Elizabeth
12. Alvin
13. Bong
14. Chee Gake
15. Wan Ting
16. Zhixuan
17. Delin
18. (I had to ponder very long...so sad my memory is failing me) Alex.. OH NO HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY JIE JIE
19. (Ditto) Lileng
20. (Ditto too) Kheng Whee


How did you meet 14? (CG) Hmm. First I heard her name being mentioned and thought it sounded like a hokkien phrased for "pissed off". Then during CO prac I heard the name being said again and again and again and I was getting pretty "Chi Ghek" from not knowing who it was. Then during one election I finally learnt who she was. Gradually became pretty friendly.

What would you do if you never met 1? (Ger) Oh dear. Become even more cynical and probably have shut the rest of the world out during JC. You see, spending a lot of time with a gregarious and (excessively) softhearted person rubs off on you. I would also be lacking countless arguments on the presence or absence of a god. (Ger is a Christian while I am an atheist) Ger is the closest friend I've had for quite a while, and I would be missing a great deal if I never met her. Well. This is inadequately expressed in words. Anyway, Ger, I'm glad to have met you.


What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? (Juz&KW) First, I would faint and be sent to the nearest hospital's ER. Next,(after I have sufficiently recovered) I would subject J to a through interrogation, bare room, bright lights and all. When my morbid curiosity has been satisfied, I would congratulate them, feel very very proud of knowing a gay couple, present them with wedding gifts and recommend they migrate to a country/state where gay marraiges are allowed.

Did you ever like 19? I'm assuming in the romantic sense. The answer is a firm no, because Schmetterling is as straight as a flagpole.

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? (Huijie&Delin) You know, I don't think Huijie likes younger men. And also, Delin is kinda too mild and tame for Huijie. He'd probably die of a heart attack after a few dates. And if he isn't dead by then, Huijie would have expired of boredom.

Describe 3. (Zhiyong) Well. Mr. Nice Guy. Yitian's parents seem to hold him as the epitome of good character, so you know. Haha. Also quite smart and if I'm not wrong, addicted to TV. All in all, it is GAG's official opinion that he has the perfect personality for being a house-husband. Haha.

Do you think 8 is attractive? (Tian) Ah. Yes. Of course.

Tell me something about 7. (Woon Keat) Aka Nadia/other female gymnasts. Backup dancer and the N in GANG. Heheh. His favorite word (or rather, sound) is "Mng", which does not mean he wants to shop at Mango. Really fun person to hang out with.

Do you know any of 12's family? (Alvin) Nope.

What's 8's favourite? ( Tian) Favorite what? Well, if it's activity, it's probably slacking. Hahahaha :D If it's phrase, it's probably "sucks". Sorry Tian. Hehe.

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?. (E-beth) I would laugh till I hyperventilated and died. That would solve all the potential knotty problems.

What language does 15 speak? (Wanting) English, Mandarin, Cantonese

Who is 9 going out with? (Juz) No one? I think... hehehee.

How old is 16 now? (Zhixuan) 17 going on 18? Or already 18?

When was the last time you talked to 13? (Bong) On Monday.

Who's 2 favourite band/singer? (Damian) I don't know. He listens to so many artistes, most of whom I didn't know existed until he blogged about them. Maybe you want to tell me? haha.

Would you date 4? (E.Chan) No, sorry. Just isn't my type. Good friend and gossip buddy though.

Would you date 7? (Woon Keat) Groan. No. No. No. Too many "mngs" will kill me.

Is 15 single? (WanTing) Yes. I THINK.

What's 10's last name? (Tsinli) Chua.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? (E-beth.) No. As I said. I would hyperventilate and die.

What school does 3 go to? (Zhiyong) Officer Cadet School. Bwaha.

Where does 6 live? (Huijie) Jurong. Somewhere. Hehe.

Whats your favourite thing about 5? (Timo) Haha. He can be quite funny at times especially when accusing people of things. And of course he helps be do stuff. Like buy games. :D Thanks Timo!

Schmetterling Misses School

Yes.... Schmetterling misses school...

The scratchy, insanely heat-insulating uniform...

The cranky lecturers that threatened to blow the roof off by the sole power of their diaphrams...

The blissful honey-drenched feeling of falling asleep during a particulary 'interesting' GP lesson...

The running around and squealing and generally acting crazy...

Watching Ger's scrunchie being used as a tennis ball..

The atrocious canteen food, with the milk tea that can give you diarrhea ..

The aromatic toilets, dimly lit with frightening orange lights...and of course the Flush that Went Mad..

The hours of lazing around at the class bench, chit-chatting about everything under and possibly over the sun..

The immensely popular astrology lectures given by Baron Bigsheepy...

The peals of laughter that ensue (mainly from me, I admit) when Alex gives Ger an almighty poke in the ribs..

Sigh... I want to go back to school :(

Schmetterling's Week)

Schmetterling has had a rather eventful week. And as Schmetterling has become hopelessly stupid and cannot think of any witty blog content, Schmetterling has decreed that her (dwindling) readers must of necessity be bored by her day-by-day account of events.

Don't worry it isn't that bad. I think.

Monday: Monday was a public holiday and was thus spent meaningfully sound asleep in bed. In her few waking hours Schmetterling went for her piano lesson, during which she was struck dumb by the unspeakably holy sight of her teacher's brand-new grand piano glowing with magnificence (or reflected light). Awed by its splendor, Schmetterling was of course less than attentive to her piano playing and was soundly reprimanded by the teacher for being a "borderline pass". Chi-chi the dog agreed. =(

Tuesday: Tuesday was a very bad day. Schmetterling was overworked in the office and returned home to find that her beloved Ah Bao had died of unknown causes. R.I.P, little one.

Wednesday: Wednesday was the accursed Day of Boredom. Because both of the executives Schmetterling was under had either vanished into a parallel universe or forgot what they wanted Schmetterling to do, Schmetterling spent most of the day at the office staring at the (blank) computer screen or hopping around the office (in sheer boredom). Also of note : Wednesday was the historic date when three quarters of the females in the office wore the same colour combination - black top and blue jeans. Also of interest : a tree fell on a colleague's car, causing Schmetterling much merriment.

Thursday: Thursday was Half-Day at work because Schmetterling had to collect something in the morning. Thursday evening was also Mythbuster (tv programme) night, in which the mad-scientist Mythbusters tested whether silicon breast implants would expand and explode at high altitude, among other amusing things involving massive explosions, a cellphone, gallons of gasoline, cheap CDs, lots of power tools,silk lingerie and a fire department.

Friday: Friday was Mad Day. The senior executive, knowing that her overproductive temporary staff would be gone on the morrow, leaving her with truckloads of paperwork, decided to make the most of Schmetterling's last day. Schmetterling spent the entire day frantically jabbing at the keyboard trying to key in about 10 kilos (of paper) worth of data. Due to her herioc effort, Schmetterling managed to complete this Herculean task with 6 minutes to spare. Hee hee.

Saturday: Upon arrival at her tuition student's house, Schmetterling was freaked out by a ferocious, rabid inch-long pet fish that threatened to break out of its precariously fragile plastic tank and go for Schmetterling's throat. Schmetterling unfortunately had to spend the rest of the session seated next to the said tank and jumping nervously each time the obviously mad fish bumped its face against the tank walls trying to get at her. Schmetterling thinks it is because she might have eaten his cousin for brunch. Schmetterling doesn't think anyone knows how it feels like being hated by a fish. Schmetterling has evil plans to spike Mad Fish's food if this continues.

R.I.P Ah Bao

I discovered him dead and in rigor when I came home from work today. I cannot find a possible cause of death - last night at around 2 a. m Bao was still his normal self...

Will miss you, Bao.

Schmetterling's Visit to the Foot Reflexologist

Schmetterling has just been for a wonderfully relaxing foot massage.

Don't give Schmetterling that look. Schmetterling knows what you're thinking. No, Schmetterling may not have a broken ankle or anything but Schmetterling needs to relax ok? It's perfectly justifiable for Schmetterling to spend $20 on an invigoratingly painful foot rub.

Anyway Schmetterling was concentrating on suppressing a scream when another sinseh came in with a 6 or 7 year old boy. The poor boy apparently had something terribly wrong with him (perhaps he misbehaved too much?), for the sinseh proceeded to stick a few dozen pins into his head, hands and feet, accompanied by the enthusiastic howling of the little brat. Eventually he completed his task, and the little brat now assumed the appearance of a little bratty porcupine. The sinseh brought in an odd looking contraption with wires and clips, and attached the clips (attached to wires) to the needles that were protruding from his scalp. He then plugged in the contraption to the nearest power point and turned it on, sending pulses of electricity through the wires, clips and down the needles. Now everything was starting to look like a sci-fi horror movie. The brat of course, resumed howling and flopping his little pin-studded hands and feet while his mother looked disinterestedly on.

Meanwhile the reflexologist attending to Schmetterling was pummelling and prodding and kneading Schmetterling's feet. After a few particularly hard prods, he looked up at Schmetterling and stated solemnly "You have a gassy stomach and hiccup often." and resumed prodding and kneading. A few minutes or so later, he looked up again and annouced " you are something of an insomniac" and proceeded to pound his fists on Schmetterling's calves.

Schmetterling did not think that foot reflexologists were supposed to be psychics.