In Which the Owner of this Blog has fallen Prey to Humour

What can I possibly say? Some people are geniuses when it comes to humour.

"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits... in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [Whereupon the friar is urged, "skip ahead a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen."
-- On the Use of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, a weapon used to kill a ferocious, fluffy bunny in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Quite simply, he was in love with linen. Clean, lightly starched, white Irish linen, pressed, folded, tucked- the words were almost a litany of desire for him. In centuries nothing had obsessed him or moved him so much as linen now did. He could not for the life of him understand how he could have cared for anything else."

--The Norse God Odin's opinion of linen, from The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

"Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae." — Kurt Vonnegut

"Mediocre writers borrow; great writers steal. "— TS Eliot


Will post more when I think of more stuff.