A Random Discourse on the State of Random Things

Well. I haven't thought of a coherent blog entry, but I have lots of stuff to say, so I shall just ramble and ramble and ramble and ramble for after all this is my blog and I have the inalienable right to ramble on it. To make it less obviously rambly, I shall attempt to organise them into discrete points.

1. On Apples
No no not on Apple, on apples. The red or green edible kind, not the expensive airconditioner-remote-like rectangular thingy with a wheel thingy that mysteriously goes 'click' when you twirl it. Well yes now, what of apples? Well they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and colours and prices. The kind I particularly like is a kind of yellowish-red, and about the size of a ping-pong ball costing about S$2 for a pack of about five, while the largest I have seen was blood red, of the size of a cantaloupe and cost S$14 each. Which of course leads you to suspect that the kind of apple that William Tell balanced on his poor son's head and shot with an arrow was the huge red kind that simply screams "AIM HERE" and is impossible to miss, rather than the comparably microscopic variety that I gobble up in about, oh two bites. And apples just taste so nice, you know. Sweet, firm, crunchy, with a slight powdery taste... that's how I like my apples. And Xiang the hamster likes his apples too. He gets one slice about once a week, and the juice makes his whiskers all sticky.

2. On A Visit to my Grandparents'
Just yesterday I went to my grandparents' house for a visit and to spend the night there. Their doctrine seems to be "early to bed and early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise" , and their daily schedule (which is like clockwork) is almost 2-3 hours earlier than most people's. For example, I arrived at 3pm in the afternoon. At 5pm, I was told that dinner was served and would I please go eat my dinner now. Having just had my lunch at 2pm, I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and only managed to get all the food down by sheer willpower. It didn't help much that my grandmother was looking displeased at me eating "so little" when in fact I was eating enough for two elephants. Then my grandmother was scandalized to hear that I did not intend to retire to bed by 8pm(which is when she went to sleep) and after giving me a lecture on the evils of sleeping late, she insisted I drink a mug of Milo because I would be hungry. Right. Being the obedient granddaughter I complied, and rose to make the hot drink. She was utterly horrified, as she was sure I was going to scald myself or drop the hot water flask on my toe or something and she would be scolded by her son for letting anything happen to his precious daughter while she was in her house. Sigh. Anyway, the next day, I had breakfast at 9am and lunch at 10.30pm. And I am feeling very sick indeed thank you very much. (This doesn't change the fact that I adore my grandmother absolutely, forcefeeding notwistanding)

3. On CSI
Yeah I'm talking about the show where someone inevitably gets murdered every episode and then a group of people come along with all their powders and flashlights and other toys and have a jolly good time. I AM A TOTAL FAN! Of CSI and the spinoffs CSI: NY and CSI: Miami, though I like CSI best. (I like CSI : Miami least. One of the actors has puppy eyes that irritate me) It's just so interesting! You know. Bugs. Dead bodies. Cool tech equipment. Gory autopsies.... This is my sort of thing you know? Especially the bug part. You won't believe how many different types of bugs feature on this show. And the tarantulas. Cool. And I absolutely love it when they test-fire shotguns. Boom.

Schmetterling is a Blog Pirate

Stole this off Huijie's blog. Bwah

I AM: having a monster headache from a little too much coffee. See, the problems with legal drugs like caffeine is that they will be abused up down and inside out by people like me, who need daily fixes to prevent themselves from jumping off a building or bashing their brains out on a concrete wall.

I WANT: inspiration. Which has very cleverly eluded me ever since... oh, eight to ten months ago? Wait. That corresponds roughly to the start of my drug habit. Hmmmmmmm.

I WISH: that I actually had the motivation to do something worthwhile with my time and not just spend the whole day sitting at home getting hyped up on caffeine. I also wish that my A level results were better so I wouldn't be in this depressing state right now.

I HATE: humankind in general, ginger, mangoes, rock,pop,metallica and all the other modern nonsense masquerading as "music", coffee withdrawal syndromes, sitting around all day at home doing nothing, getting bored, children under the age of 12 (I'm not too sure if they're classified under "humankind"..)... and et cetera et cetera.

I MISS: the days of artistic productivity. And my friends. And school. Sadly. At least then I had something to do when I was all hyped up on caffeine. Now I don't have homework and my science mags come only once a month. *Taps head* whatever used to be inside this has now migrated to Mars and I miss it. Hey brain if you see this, write me okay?

I FEAR: nothing. Except of course, boredom, lack of coffee...

I HEAR: voices in my head telling me that I'm a worthless idiot with a drug habit and I should drown myself only that I probably would screw up my suicide attempt like everything else. Just joking. I assume people want to know what I listen to, so I hear : classical music including opera and some broadway and crossover classical. Il Divo is nice.

I WONDER: about how I can overcome my drug habit. And about things like why humanity is so hopeless and when humans are going to nuclear-blast themselves out of existence. In my spare time I ponder upon this very serious question : why hasn't anyone made nice instant coffee? It is after all the 21st century already.

I REGRET: not having the guts (and motivation) to nuclear-blast humans out of existence. Well and a couple of other dark mysterious evil things that I'd rather not discuss.

I AM NOT: crazy. I think. Well maybe I am. Well, not really. Hmm. Am. Not. Am. Not. Am. Not. Am. Not...

I SING: Yes I sing but nobody who listened ever lived to tell the tale. Stay well clear, people.

I CRY: when watching war films. Am always a sucker for them. Sniffle.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: as even-tempered and calm and steady as I seem. I have my explosive moments and shrapnel can hit anyone within a 10km radius.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: big messes. Oh well. Some people call it art. Or music. I just call it paint blotches and noise.

I WRITE: in cursive or in a slanted round hand. And I write mainly stuff like "Dear diary I pooped three times today" and " Saturday 4 pm Tuition at that god-forsaken part of Singapore again".

I CONFUSE: people when I ramble too much. Like say, now. And I also confuse people's names and faces. I am very bad at remembering people. I'm sorry if I can't remember you or your name after 6 months of not seeing you. I also confuse myself when counting money. You see, I am mathematically deficient.

I NEED: coffee. Not now though. Bloody headache.

I SHOULD: get back to working on those trills. I can't do trills to save my life. Then again I don't have a life to save. So the point is, I can't do trills.

I START: start what. Okay. I start every day by going to the bathroom, then drinking a glass of water, then having my breafast, then...

I FINISH: everything that I start. Trust me. I hate to leave loose ends hanging.

I LOVE: my pweetchy lil' hammie. (Translation: I love my pet hamster.)

I REMEMBER: too many things, mostly bad. I also remember first impressions of people, if nothing else. I also remember to feed my hamster every day, even though he's getting quite fat.

I TAG (I added this meself) : Ger, Damian, WK, Eugene (both), Zhiyong (GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT SOFA AND BLOG), Timo and whoever wants to do this.


Finito.

WHY IS IT SO *BEEP*ING HOT?!

The weather is absurdly hot these days, thanks in part to the chimpanzee sitting in a white-washed house in a particularly obnoxious greenhouse-gas-spewing country. (Did you know someone called him the "greatest environmental villian of our time" ? He absolutely deserves it. Bah.)


I can't walk two steps without sweating profusely.

And my aircon isn't working.

And I had to walk under the hot sun for 20 minutes up a bloody hill.

And I'm about to take my second shower of the day.

BAH.

Weirdy Bloggy Stuff

Instructions: Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. dont read the questions before you write, and tag 5 pple to do this survey.

1. Geraldine
2. Damian
3. Zhiyong
4. Eugene Chan
5. Timothy
6. Huijie
7. Woon Keat
8. Yitian
9. Justin
10. Tsinli
11. Elizabeth
12. Alvin
13. Bong
14. Chee Gake
15. Wan Ting
16. Zhixuan
17. Delin
18. (I had to ponder very long...so sad my memory is failing me) Alex.. OH NO HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY JIE JIE
19. (Ditto) Lileng
20. (Ditto too) Kheng Whee


How did you meet 14? (CG) Hmm. First I heard her name being mentioned and thought it sounded like a hokkien phrased for "pissed off". Then during CO prac I heard the name being said again and again and again and I was getting pretty "Chi Ghek" from not knowing who it was. Then during one election I finally learnt who she was. Gradually became pretty friendly.

What would you do if you never met 1? (Ger) Oh dear. Become even more cynical and probably have shut the rest of the world out during JC. You see, spending a lot of time with a gregarious and (excessively) softhearted person rubs off on you. I would also be lacking countless arguments on the presence or absence of a god. (Ger is a Christian while I am an atheist) Ger is the closest friend I've had for quite a while, and I would be missing a great deal if I never met her. Well. This is inadequately expressed in words. Anyway, Ger, I'm glad to have met you.


What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? (Juz&KW) First, I would faint and be sent to the nearest hospital's ER. Next,(after I have sufficiently recovered) I would subject J to a through interrogation, bare room, bright lights and all. When my morbid curiosity has been satisfied, I would congratulate them, feel very very proud of knowing a gay couple, present them with wedding gifts and recommend they migrate to a country/state where gay marraiges are allowed.

Did you ever like 19? I'm assuming in the romantic sense. The answer is a firm no, because Schmetterling is as straight as a flagpole.

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? (Huijie&Delin) You know, I don't think Huijie likes younger men. And also, Delin is kinda too mild and tame for Huijie. He'd probably die of a heart attack after a few dates. And if he isn't dead by then, Huijie would have expired of boredom.

Describe 3. (Zhiyong) Well. Mr. Nice Guy. Yitian's parents seem to hold him as the epitome of good character, so you know. Haha. Also quite smart and if I'm not wrong, addicted to TV. All in all, it is GAG's official opinion that he has the perfect personality for being a house-husband. Haha.

Do you think 8 is attractive? (Tian) Ah. Yes. Of course.

Tell me something about 7. (Woon Keat) Aka Nadia/other female gymnasts. Backup dancer and the N in GANG. Heheh. His favorite word (or rather, sound) is "Mng", which does not mean he wants to shop at Mango. Really fun person to hang out with.

Do you know any of 12's family? (Alvin) Nope.

What's 8's favourite? ( Tian) Favorite what? Well, if it's activity, it's probably slacking. Hahahaha :D If it's phrase, it's probably "sucks". Sorry Tian. Hehe.

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?. (E-beth) I would laugh till I hyperventilated and died. That would solve all the potential knotty problems.

What language does 15 speak? (Wanting) English, Mandarin, Cantonese

Who is 9 going out with? (Juz) No one? I think... hehehee.

How old is 16 now? (Zhixuan) 17 going on 18? Or already 18?

When was the last time you talked to 13? (Bong) On Monday.

Who's 2 favourite band/singer? (Damian) I don't know. He listens to so many artistes, most of whom I didn't know existed until he blogged about them. Maybe you want to tell me? haha.

Would you date 4? (E.Chan) No, sorry. Just isn't my type. Good friend and gossip buddy though.

Would you date 7? (Woon Keat) Groan. No. No. No. Too many "mngs" will kill me.

Is 15 single? (WanTing) Yes. I THINK.

What's 10's last name? (Tsinli) Chua.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? (E-beth.) No. As I said. I would hyperventilate and die.

What school does 3 go to? (Zhiyong) Officer Cadet School. Bwaha.

Where does 6 live? (Huijie) Jurong. Somewhere. Hehe.

Whats your favourite thing about 5? (Timo) Haha. He can be quite funny at times especially when accusing people of things. And of course he helps be do stuff. Like buy games. :D Thanks Timo!

Schmetterling Misses School

Yes.... Schmetterling misses school...

The scratchy, insanely heat-insulating uniform...

The cranky lecturers that threatened to blow the roof off by the sole power of their diaphrams...

The blissful honey-drenched feeling of falling asleep during a particulary 'interesting' GP lesson...

The running around and squealing and generally acting crazy...

Watching Ger's scrunchie being used as a tennis ball..

The atrocious canteen food, with the milk tea that can give you diarrhea ..

The aromatic toilets, dimly lit with frightening orange lights...and of course the Flush that Went Mad..

The hours of lazing around at the class bench, chit-chatting about everything under and possibly over the sun..

The immensely popular astrology lectures given by Baron Bigsheepy...

The peals of laughter that ensue (mainly from me, I admit) when Alex gives Ger an almighty poke in the ribs..

Sigh... I want to go back to school :(

Schmetterling's Week)

Schmetterling has had a rather eventful week. And as Schmetterling has become hopelessly stupid and cannot think of any witty blog content, Schmetterling has decreed that her (dwindling) readers must of necessity be bored by her day-by-day account of events.

Don't worry it isn't that bad. I think.

Monday: Monday was a public holiday and was thus spent meaningfully sound asleep in bed. In her few waking hours Schmetterling went for her piano lesson, during which she was struck dumb by the unspeakably holy sight of her teacher's brand-new grand piano glowing with magnificence (or reflected light). Awed by its splendor, Schmetterling was of course less than attentive to her piano playing and was soundly reprimanded by the teacher for being a "borderline pass". Chi-chi the dog agreed. =(

Tuesday: Tuesday was a very bad day. Schmetterling was overworked in the office and returned home to find that her beloved Ah Bao had died of unknown causes. R.I.P, little one.

Wednesday: Wednesday was the accursed Day of Boredom. Because both of the executives Schmetterling was under had either vanished into a parallel universe or forgot what they wanted Schmetterling to do, Schmetterling spent most of the day at the office staring at the (blank) computer screen or hopping around the office (in sheer boredom). Also of note : Wednesday was the historic date when three quarters of the females in the office wore the same colour combination - black top and blue jeans. Also of interest : a tree fell on a colleague's car, causing Schmetterling much merriment.

Thursday: Thursday was Half-Day at work because Schmetterling had to collect something in the morning. Thursday evening was also Mythbuster (tv programme) night, in which the mad-scientist Mythbusters tested whether silicon breast implants would expand and explode at high altitude, among other amusing things involving massive explosions, a cellphone, gallons of gasoline, cheap CDs, lots of power tools,silk lingerie and a fire department.

Friday: Friday was Mad Day. The senior executive, knowing that her overproductive temporary staff would be gone on the morrow, leaving her with truckloads of paperwork, decided to make the most of Schmetterling's last day. Schmetterling spent the entire day frantically jabbing at the keyboard trying to key in about 10 kilos (of paper) worth of data. Due to her herioc effort, Schmetterling managed to complete this Herculean task with 6 minutes to spare. Hee hee.

Saturday: Upon arrival at her tuition student's house, Schmetterling was freaked out by a ferocious, rabid inch-long pet fish that threatened to break out of its precariously fragile plastic tank and go for Schmetterling's throat. Schmetterling unfortunately had to spend the rest of the session seated next to the said tank and jumping nervously each time the obviously mad fish bumped its face against the tank walls trying to get at her. Schmetterling thinks it is because she might have eaten his cousin for brunch. Schmetterling doesn't think anyone knows how it feels like being hated by a fish. Schmetterling has evil plans to spike Mad Fish's food if this continues.

R.I.P Ah Bao

I discovered him dead and in rigor when I came home from work today. I cannot find a possible cause of death - last night at around 2 a. m Bao was still his normal self...

Will miss you, Bao.