"金玉良言"

Quotes from my Lectures:


"There's really not much to choose between you and a mushroom." - a lecturer being cynical about the human race.

"...that fluffy bit there (points to distinctly un-fluffy blob on protein)..." - the same lecturer being slightly overenthusiastic.

"And my point is...(dramatic pause)... now I've forgotten..." - another lecturer.

"...and then he dies, which is fairly interesting." - the humanities lecturer on the subject of the only casualty in the construction of the Eiffel Tower.

"This is a Newtonian moment." Right. Not for me, though.

"It would fry you!" - a lecturer gleefully putting into perspective the huge membrane voltage gradient. Add a quaint accent and a rolled r.

"Here I am brainwashing you..." Finally, they admit it!

"And after I squeezed him... no no, not in that way!" It is amusing when your lecturer's first language is not English, and tends to use inappropriate words at inappropriate moments...


And... notes have never been so amusing...

"The specimen has to be dead. Really dead."

And there was a smiley face in my notes. A smiley face. I am not kidding you.

"The world will go neither a whimper nor a bang, just a simple short circuit." (N.B - a reference to nuclear silos being controlled by complex electrical switchboards.)

And finally, a poem on the machine gun in one of my humanities recommended reading things, which is really rather tragic:

"Onward Christian soldiers, on to heathen lands;
Prayer-books in your pockets, rifles in your hands;
Take the glorious tidings where trade can be done;
Spread the peaceful gospel-with a Maxim gun."

- Labouchere, in A Social History of the Machine Gun by J. Ellis