Babies.

Being the not-so-proud aunt of a slobbering 5-month old baby boy, Schmetterling considers herself quite fit to comment upon the habits of infant homo sapiens.

1. Babies seem to be able to produce copious volumes of saliva, most of which end up on the blouses of their mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. It's disgusting, and unhygenic to say the least.
2. Babies have the strange ability of instantly turning normally articulate and serious adults into wussy, cooing imbeciles. "Oh koochikoochikoo..." "da da! baby da da!" UGH. -shivers- And we're supposed to be the most intellegent species on earth. Needless to say, being of superior breeding and intellect, Schmetterling does not deign to participate in such imbecilic activities.
3. Babies smell. Of vomit and milk and every other imaginable icky thing. Sniff.
4. Babies cry. A lot. And it's terrible to hear. Oh yes you can say "it's because they can't talk" and all that, but Schmetterling thinks that it only urges their mothers to get rid of them ASAP. Mothers must have infinite patience.
5. Babies are ugly. Schmetterling hopes that all the baby-lovers and mothers and paedophiles out there won't hit her... it's just a personal opinion. They're pudgy, misproportioned and sometimes bald. Not a pretty picture.

Anyways. Schmetterling doesn't have anything against other people's babies. Schmetterling just thinks she would rather not have any in the distant future.

Schmetterling also does NOT condone any flaming on her tagboard. Thank you.